Yes, but I, like many before me and many more to come, have played out the exact same classical tragedy:
Everyone: āDonāt stick your dick in crazy.ā
Me: sticks dick in crazy
Chorus: āWoe be to our Hero, fallen to hubris, laid to waste! O! How defiant was he to the Gods and to the exhortations of his fellows! The sour reapings of his field of pride now taint his wine, a potted plant now lay shattered in his sink for some reason, and his Game boy Advance game collection now lay in the hands of the deceiver who hath no Game Boy, nor knowledge of their value, nor interest in gaming!ā
The point of a coach is someone who is observing you and giving you input that you canāt necessary see yourself. And also assisting you with planning and strategizing that is very hard to do on your own. itās a division of labor.
that said even professional relationship experts are working with a ton of cultural and sexist biases and other dogmas that may or may not apply to your circumstances, so whether or not their advice is useful or practical for your situation is something you have to be aware of.
pretty much most āadviceā folks ever gave me a form of āmake more moneyā. which as far as Iām concerned, isnāt relationship advice, itās just cultural dogmatism that money is all that matters in the end.
Have an acquaintance that is single and went through a messy divorce. Still tries to give unsolicited advice to everyone. Donāt tell people to clean their room if yours is perpetually messy.
Depends on the advice. If theyāre talking about their mistakes, that can be informative. But, if they discuss their mistakes and then say āā¦ and this is what you should do, insteadā, thatās just unproven speculation on their part.
But, at the end of the day, relationship advice is mostly useless, because only the most general advice works for everyone. The specific issues between two, complex people canāt be understood and advised for by listening to one side of the story for a few minutes.
also why the ājust break up with themā is good advice. because well, if itās that bad of an issue itās already probably past the point of no return and there isnāt any fixing it.
once trust is broken, there isnāt any fixing it. youāll just forever be in a relationship that is damaged, but for some folks thatās better than not being in a relationship.
A former friend of mine at uni became obsessed with a girl who worked there, and started to develop all sorts of creepy behavior towards her (watching her for hours on end, stalking her home down quiet country lanes, found out where she lived, etc). All without ever trying to talk with her or ask her out. He became fixated with her, and of course she noticed his obsession and became uncomfortable and started to stress out.
At one point I told him that his behavior wasnāt cool, and that he should either ask her out and live with the consequences or move on.
He got really angry at me, which didnāt surprise me. But one of the things he said to me was that I didnāt understand women and thatās why I was and would always be single. It was honestly funny because he was also single at that time.
Roll on the years and Iāve been happily married for a couple of decades. And from what Iāve been told through mutual acquaintances heās still single. And probably still stalking women.
I know so much about relationships that I know I donāt want to be in one. I can still offer advice on how to navigate the problems Iāve decided I donāt want to deal with anymore.
Yeah, but also itās a different perspective. Which can sometimes be āIām not currently banging them so I see a lot of the stuff you ignore or justify, or stuff youāre not there to seeā.
Just because they are single doesnāt mean they donāt understand what they are talking about. Just like being in one doesnāt mean they understand anything either.
Iāve known more people in my life in a relationship that couldnāt give fucking anything remotely close to healthy advice, then single people that could give you the best advice you could want.
There are more codependent people who chase a relationship no matter how toxic or unhealthy they are. Then there are actually sane, reasonable people who have their shit figured out either single or in a relationship.
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On the other hand, if a homeless junkie tells me that shooting heroin is a terrible idea, Iām inclined to take their words to heart.
āDonāt do what I didā
Yes, but I, like many before me and many more to come, have played out the exact same classical tragedy:
Everyone: āDonāt stick your dick in crazy.ā
Me: sticks dick in crazy
Chorus: āWoe be to our Hero, fallen to hubris, laid to waste! O! How defiant was he to the Gods and to the exhortations of his fellows! The sour reapings of his field of pride now taint his wine, a potted plant now lay shattered in his sink for some reason, and his Game boy Advance game collection now lay in the hands of the deceiver who hath no Game Boy, nor knowledge of their value, nor interest in gaming!ā
Fuck that. Who the fuck says donāt stick your dick in crazy?
Cowards, thatās who.
You have one life, actively search for that sweet sweet crazy tang, king.
Didnāt you read it? I lost my game boy games. And my Game Boy Micro. Rare shit.
Wait 20 years. Youāll wish you lost more.
Hey Iām him 20 years later. Dodged a bullet, got off easy.
Whatever, I guess Iām just Neo.
Crazy is one of the best things to stick your dick in.
Now, āDonāt get in a serious relationship with crazyā is some pretty solid advice.
Crazy people, known for respecting boundaries and accepting one nice night.
As a former crazy, we do sometimes grow out of it
Yeah Iām currently dating āI got diagnosed and like who I am on my current medsā Still fucks like a wild animal, though. Wish me luck!
Godspeed you absolute legend!
Iām that friend. Iāve helped start or save relationships. Coaches donāt play.
People forget that.
The point of a coach is someone who is observing you and giving you input that you canāt necessary see yourself. And also assisting you with planning and strategizing that is very hard to do on your own. itās a division of labor.
that said even professional relationship experts are working with a ton of cultural and sexist biases and other dogmas that may or may not apply to your circumstances, so whether or not their advice is useful or practical for your situation is something you have to be aware of.
pretty much most āadviceā folks ever gave me a form of āmake more moneyā. which as far as Iām concerned, isnāt relationship advice, itās just cultural dogmatism that money is all that matters in the end.
Basically the manosphere
Have an acquaintance that is single and went through a messy divorce. Still tries to give unsolicited advice to everyone. Donāt tell people to clean their room if yours is perpetually messy.
Depends on the advice. If theyāre talking about their mistakes, that can be informative. But, if they discuss their mistakes and then say āā¦ and this is what you should do, insteadā, thatās just unproven speculation on their part.
But, at the end of the day, relationship advice is mostly useless, because only the most general advice works for everyone. The specific issues between two, complex people canāt be understood and advised for by listening to one side of the story for a few minutes.
also why the ājust break up with themā is good advice. because well, if itās that bad of an issue itās already probably past the point of no return and there isnāt any fixing it.
once trust is broken, there isnāt any fixing it. youāll just forever be in a relationship that is damaged, but for some folks thatās better than not being in a relationship.
A former friend of mine at uni became obsessed with a girl who worked there, and started to develop all sorts of creepy behavior towards her (watching her for hours on end, stalking her home down quiet country lanes, found out where she lived, etc). All without ever trying to talk with her or ask her out. He became fixated with her, and of course she noticed his obsession and became uncomfortable and started to stress out.
At one point I told him that his behavior wasnāt cool, and that he should either ask her out and live with the consequences or move on.
He got really angry at me, which didnāt surprise me. But one of the things he said to me was that I didnāt understand women and thatās why I was and would always be single. It was honestly funny because he was also single at that time.
Roll on the years and Iāve been happily married for a couple of decades. And from what Iāve been told through mutual acquaintances heās still single. And probably still stalking women.
This meme reminded me of him.
On behalf of all women, thank you for calling him out. We need more of that from other guys.
I just wish he had learned something from it. Itās disheartening how pigheaded some people can be.
Single for life. Still managed to help save a marriage.
Hell yeah, this is the way.
I know so much about relationships that I know I donāt want to be in one. I can still offer advice on how to navigate the problems Iāve decided I donāt want to deal with anymore.
Or they all hate their wives. (Or you hate all their wives)
I hate meeting dudes who want to talk to me about how they hate their wife and kids and how glorious my life is because Iām single.
and yeah, if you meet their wife, you also hate their wife because she just talks to you about how he sucks as a husband/man.
miserable people tend to love being miserable together. and their misery is always someone elseās fault.
Yeah, but also itās a different perspective. Which can sometimes be āIām not currently banging them so I see a lot of the stuff you ignore or justify, or stuff youāre not there to seeā.
youāll notice the same people who give good relationship advice are also the people who have no relational attachments
Nailed it. I was in my mid-20s when I realized I should stop taking advice from people who werenāt living the way I wanted.
We donāt take financial advice from homeless people. Same thing with relationship advice.
Just because they are single doesnāt mean they donāt understand what they are talking about. Just like being in one doesnāt mean they understand anything either.
Iāve known more people in my life in a relationship that couldnāt give fucking anything remotely close to healthy advice, then single people that could give you the best advice you could want.
There are more codependent people who chase a relationship no matter how toxic or unhealthy they are. Then there are actually sane, reasonable people who have their shit figured out either single or in a relationship.
Iām going to strongly disagree.
Those folks who fucked up, youāre not taking their advice. Youāre learning from their mistakes. Two completely different things.
Also, the codependent folks? Is that who you want to be? No? Then donāt take their advice either.
The cobblerās children have no shoes
I have the burden of knowledge that I can not use for myself.
Advice so bad, we both turned into different people.
So learn from their mistakes
The best drug advice always comes from people who donāt do drugsā¦
The best drug advice is to educate yourself first, and people who donāt do drugs wonāt know the URL.