!dadjokes@lemmy.world
Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.
Update 2025-9-11: If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they would understand, you should probably post it to the this community: !unclejokes@lemmy.world. Please message me if you think it could be different.
They’re through the roof!
But I had an onion ring once.
Knock knock.
no one’s heard them before.
I said “No, a regular one”
Unfortunately I must confess that it’s true …
I’m after you now.
But John came fifth, and received a toaster.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46848864
Now she won’t play Scrabble with me
Hospice
Me: actually I would like something to eat …
I have only my shelf to blame
We were on the hwy passing a sign that had the next town ….. “Plover, 2 miles”
They called it Formaldejekyll.
The gurney is level!
A hob-byte.
They lost.
He was too far out!
It makes scents when you think about it….
Those companies were all found to be pyramid schemes!
But now Frank finally admits he was in the Nile .
The pedals
They have two left feet
A Meatball.
Well first someone would need to put a bank inside a whale…
He said “Sure, knock yourself out”
I was stunned ⚡️⚡️
I got it at a yard sale
On the second night the attendant tried pointing to me my seat. But I cut them off and said: “its ok, this isn’t my first rodeo”
What do you call an angry carrot?
A little plaque!
all you hear is udder silence.
The results speak for themselves….
People always tell me they’re well done
Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries…
Just a paranormal jeans. 👖
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46301461
Courtesy of Rose and The Golden Girls.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46272281
Some place cheep!
His name? Baron Mind.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46256782
Loz Angeles!
A navi-gator!
Deep in the heart of Texas, a kindergarten teacher was helping one of her students put on his little cowboy boots.
what do you call an eyeless dear?
That’s it. My OC dad joke. Please use responsibly.
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
But none of them work….
what do you call a melted snow man?
She’s slowly coming around….
It was the least I could do for him.
He became an bouillon-aire
My pronouns are there/there….
…he’s homeless now.
I don’t know how to deal with it
European.
His death was ruled “exposure to the elements "
Because they always give him good case ideas
There’s safety in numb bears.
It’s a whisky business.
They get pretty upset
They seemed more interested in just eating hay …
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46014267
But I must admit his work was pretty concrete ..
That’s a lot of near Mrs…
That 3 guys just walked in to it….
Stark Naked.
The difference is staggering!
…but I didn’t make the cut.
Dad: Have you got any holes in your pants?
A stick!
I thought he was a theoretical physicist
cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/tenforward/p/1043082/layers-of-dad-jokes
Because he went to the cloud and downloaded documents onto a tablet.
The difference was like day and night !
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/45727895
Seems like a good time to jump into the fold
Because he’s a master of deductions!
People who can count in trinary
…
It meant a lot….
They do their deadlifts.
She had to duet herself.
I guess you can’t win a mall!
He mist.
It was Ancient Grease
A volun-terrier!
Local votes are a bit more private.
Default mode: public.
PeachPie 🍑
loopy
Tug
Iced Raktajino
RegularJoe
64bithero
𝜯𝐞𝐡 𝜝𝐚𝐦𝐬𝐤𝐢
Susaga
Jerb322
dohpaz42
gedaliyah
The Picard Maneuver
FenrirIII
TheTechnician27
Metostopholes
rammer
WhatsHerBucket
Elilol
Cevilia (they/she/…)
