PeachPie šGetting into Heaven
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Not being a huge dick is a low bar that way too many people donāt clear.
The rules for me to like you are quite simple:
Is having a huge dick optional, tho?
Like how do I opt in?
Tiny check box during character creation, most people miss it
Wellā¦ shit. Can I reroll?
Rerolling is a feature exclusive to certain religions
Yeah, but only through microtransactions.
And sometimes they botch it.
well first you buy some flour, then some rubber bands, then some magnum condoms
Flour?
it goes inside the condom
I seeā¦ā¦.
No, not like that.
IMO if weāre talking about sexual compatibility, a huge dick is a detriment. Everything over āa bit larger than averageā is literally a pain in the ass - you can make it work with some effort, but if the dick was just average-sized you wouldnāt need to put in any additional effort in the first place. Though of course, some people also have larger-than-average holes. And some big dick havers are pure bottoms, anyway.
I like a challenge.
Well, Iāve got one for you..
Not THAT much of a challenge tyvm.
Letās just stick with dicks.
Like sleeve of wizard.
My girlfriend returns other peopleās stray carts when she sees them. I guess sheās getting into super heaven.
When she gets to heaven, sheāll have carte blanche!
Unfortunately there is no super heaven, but she is earning credits for any scenario where sheād go to hell.
āsweet, iāve saved up enough points to get a pass on either one murder or showing vacation pictures to coworkers for ten minutesā
Ohhh gotta go with vacation pics. You gotta see this closeup of the sunset I took while standing on a stone column in Paris. Let me find itā¦.. itās here somewhereā¦ was that 2018?ā¦ hold onā¦ oh here is a weird thing on my ankle last summerā¦ hold on Iāll find the sunsetā¦ā¦ā¦noā¦ā¦noā¦..hmmmā¦ itās here somewhereā¦.hmmā¦. hold onā¦.
Oh neat. Maybe she can get some Hell swag.
If youāre lucky, sheāll give you her extra points, like using frequent flier miles to get your a ticket.
Eh, the points redemption is kinda rigged because it requires a virgin sacrifice. Puts a damper on that āthou shall not killā thing.
ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
There is in Islam, there are in fact 7 levels
This would be a good name for a rockabilly remix band.
One time she accidentally stole someoneās cart, which is q straight ticket to hell unfortunately
But deep down, I want people to see me returning the cart. My motivations were never entirely pure.
Interesting philosophical question there. Do we ever do good deeds for selfless reasons? Or do we do it for the satisfaction, recognition, or sense of self?
Can any deeds even be evaluated as good or bad without the context of satisfaction, recognition, or sense of self???
Right? People donāt exist in vacuums, we all rely on each other and the relationships we maintain.
Tell that to the eternal accountants. -400 points for buying a tomato. No wonder weāre all going to the bad place.
āDoes altruism actually existā
Itās essentially for selfish reasons, but that doesnāt mean we arenāt putting ourselves second or even third. You wonāt be doing stuff your brain doesnāt tell you to do and your motivator is called dopamine. Where that comes from is irrelevant. But when you have a good heart you will tend to want to make the world a better place. And you will live knowing that you did. However, it is possible to have a bad day and still have the enforced neural pathways that got trained because the dopamine has made your brains remember the last time you did that. At the moment you might not even like doing it but you do it anyway. Because itās āthe right thing to doā or so your brain says. When you have felt a hardship you may also feel compassion with someone and do not want them to feel what you felt. But the essential reason is the same.
So itās absolutely possible to be selfless, just not for selfless reasons. Doesnāt mean weāre all selfish assholes. On the contrary. We get happy in groups, so we want the groups to be happy. We do everything for that. If we donāt then we tend to not really be there anymore. And weāre not required to, but we do. Thatās the selfless part.
Idk, the other day I saw someone had parked one of those pay to ride scoots in the middle of a walking path. It was not necessarily on my way the way I was coming from, but it annoyed me enough that I moved it to the side of the road. Was it a good deed? I mean it no longer obstructed the path, and someone probably had an easier time due to it. I gained nothing by doing it, nor was it ever implied by any public norm I should do it. Although I guess it could just be an upbringing thing.
One might argue that you saw it as a good thing to do and you see yourself as a person who does good things. You might behave in ways that seem altruistic but are really acting to avoid cognitive dissonance. That said, Iām just thinking out loud here, I donāt have the answers.
hard question to answer, but Iād wager yes. there are still nice things we do that we know will never get noticed. maybe itās buying a sandwich for the dude on the corner or making go fund me donations anonymous but I do think we all have some of those little things. at least for the people we love.
True, but you are always there to notice your own actions. The satisfaction of doing something good and/or keeping up with your own self-image may be the real motivators.
fair enough. I would argue that without your own self-image you would not be able to decipher what a āgoodā act is. our sense of self is definitely entangled with our moral compass. but now weāre really getting into it haha.
I was a volunteer EMT for the longest time, and Iād always tell people I did it for my own selfish reasons, kinda tongue in cheek like you here, but at the end of the day it always is. I did it because I liked the feeling of helping people. I liked the feeling of giving my time to my community. It just happens it was good selfish and not bad selfish.
some argue that this ātemptation for goodā is proof of a godās existence, but i think itās ājustā an evolutionary trait that brought our species to a great success
I do it for āselfishā reasons, but not those. I want the carts in their corrals so they donāt damage my car and are in a well-known location when I want/need to use them. So, I do the work needed to make that world, and not just the minimum.
I also have to recognize that not everyone has the ability to return the cart, and so while/when I have that ability, I should return at least a few carts that arenāt āmineā.
Only seven souls have gotten into heaven. The most recent one was Fred Rogers. The one before that was over 700 years ago. The rule is to get into heaven, you need to be judged better than the previous one let in.
See you in hell.
Soooooooooā¦ā¦ā¦Dolly Parton has a 50/50 chance.
Fuck life!
At least the people I hate wonāt get in.
Thatās a victory on its own.
Great mindset
No wonder you wonāt get into heaven.
That means Bob Ross didnāt get in š
Step 1: Want to be good, always see your mistakes.
Step 2: Improve a life long, but be happy of your life.
You canāt do better than that. Anything in that direction is good.
Just in general. I donāt even know if a god exists. Nor should it change my behavior.
I still donāt really understand the obsession by people who spend all their time on the internet with whether the cart return kid had to return their personal cart along with the 200 other carts.
Maybe because in many other countries this just isnāt an issue and everyone returns their cart. Even when they donāt have a deposit (though most do)
Seems unlikely: if the non-return behavior isnāt a thing in other countries why would they have a lively internet vendetta, mostly in English, against anyone who has committed the eternally-punishable crime of leaving their cart to the cart guy (who doesnāt exist in those countries). Just seems pretty implausible.
Look at it from this angle:
The carts are personal property. When you donāt return them, thatās theft. When you donāt return them properly, thatās miscoduct.
Americans have been doing this for an eternity, so they just hired a cart guy and called it a day. You canāt put the entire country in the courts. Itās culture at that point.
Englishpeople didnāt and so it became reasonable to just make it a law for the few idiots who think they can do what they want. No cart guy required. This is how most laws are made. Traffic laws were once a good example.
I canāt find anything on the claim england has laws for this. Link?
The carts are not leaving the property of the store, which includes the lot, so that argument unfortunately also doesnāt fly. Iām not familiar with any stores big enough to have carts but which donāt have their own lots (or are the majority owner of the lot).
That was news to me as well, I just accepted that you as a possible englishperson knew that and thatās what you meant by it being punishable.
When losers sucked so much and managed to even get rejected from being a cop, but they still wanna play cop. They wanna feel the power but canāt even do the bare minimal 3 week training.
putting them in the corral, as illustrated in the comic is one thingā¦. leaving them scattered in random spaces is another
Found the asshole who doesnāt return their cart.
Why would I need to use a cart? Iām not a cuck.
I just find this cuck obsession with policing behavior that objectively doesnāt matter at all and those same cucks assigning moral value to that behavior isā¦well, it feels like this is how we got HOAs (traditionally the biggest bunch of cucks to ever cuck).
Cuck a poodle dude!
If the possibilities after death actually were heaven or hell, the bar to get into heaven would have to be pretty low. Youāre going to torture someone for eternity because someone pirated Game of Thrones a few times? That couldnāt possibly be a moral way of running the universe.
Consider this: God is a dick. The bible is full of him acting like a complete asshole.
For example, the Bible documents far more kills by God than kills by Satan: https://reasonsjourney.blogspot.com/2011/02/thou-shalt-kill.html
What if itās common in my country to put a euro into it and you get it back when you put the cart back? I have never even seen carts left on the parking lot.
We have those in Canadaā¦ At least in my province. They also sell special 3d printed coins that are large enough to unlock the cart, but thin enough that it canāt trap the ācoinā inside. It stays on my keychain. we have one for quarters ($0.25) and one for dollars ($1) different chains require different coin deposits.
First I thought how would you use a cart that unlocks with a Euro in Canada now Iām thinking how are they gonna unlock it with a dollar bill.
Conclusion: I have absolutely no idea about the fiancial system in Canada.
Canada stopped using bills for $1 in like the 80s, then dropped the $2 bill in the 90ās. We have the āloonieā which is a $1 coin, and ātoonieā which is the $2 coin.
Carts depending on how premium the chain is, will either use a quarter coin ($0.25) or a loonie ($1.00).
A few years ago we dropped the Penny, our 1 cent coin ($0.01). All purchases are rounded to the nearest 5 cents.
That was 13.5 years ago.
F
Was it? Huh
I like your coins better than Euro coins. Look much more artsy.
Iām sometimes thinking about making a post to 4chan about how not saying slurs is basic human decency in the hopes of it fixing a lot of people, and that itāll end up as a meme the same way the shopping cart post will (I really want some voice actor to read the shopping cart copypasta in the voice of Slavoj Zizek).
āOh wait. You put a large cart in the small cart section.ā
oh man if thatās all it takes, Iām golden!
Little acts of kindness add up so keep doing them!
That way when they find the body, you can still get into heaven!
(Thatās a joke obv. Please do not murder.)
Thatās one thing Iāll never understand; why the fuck are people so entitled that they donāt have enough time to return their carts? Thatās a 30 second job at most.
Iāve never seen anyone do that in Germany, though, maybe weāre well mannered after all.
Duck St. Peter: And now, let me show you to your new life in Heaven. *winks*
Green duck: Oh, goody, goody!
DSP: Ah, here we areā¦
GD: But, butā¦ thatās just what I was doing in the flashback!
DSP: Thatās right. :D
GD: D:
DSP and Satan, later that night, after their shifts are done, sitting around the poker table, drinking their Bloody Marys: Wah-hah-hah-hah, āChristians!"
Goose, not duck.
Iāve seen green ducks before. Never a green goose. Is he a member of the Green Lanterns?
Only anthropomorphic ones with no pupils can be green, I guess.
In which case, everything I said above is a total lie.
Heaven is run by the Cart Narc
Remember that young boy you run over because you were in a hurry to get Bieber tickets? Turns out he was destined to become megahitler so thats worth like a billion goodguy points.
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Killed a guy this morning, donāt regret it, in fact I enjoyed it would do it again, probably will, and your gonna give me angel super powers?
What? Murder isnāt a sin.
No?
Of course not, only leaving out your shopping cart.
ā¦.
What about rapā¦